if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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