I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
