garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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