It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We're too hungover to prance.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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