someone threw a dead crab at me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
