Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
