My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
