On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
