pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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