she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize