you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
