I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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