just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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