Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
