then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize