My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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