Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
