So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize