The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
