He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
