There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
