How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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