I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
