And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
