wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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