he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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