what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
