Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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