I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
