PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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