He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
