WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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