is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
