the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
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