so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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