Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
