I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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