That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
