This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
