Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
