Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
