Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
