I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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