i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
