Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I got inside last night via doggy door
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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