they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
