you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
They are going to name an STD after you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize