Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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