I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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