her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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