Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
