Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
