We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
