Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize