We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
