i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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