There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize