I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
