I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
4 words: hood of his car
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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