lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The air was thick with penises
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
