The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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