I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
