Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
